The Power of Perspective: How Our Perceptions Shape Easy Hard vs. Hard Hard

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a rut, professionally, personally, or even just in your everyday routines, it might not be the tasks themselves that are holding you back. Sometimes, it’s the perspective you’re bringing to the table.

A Quick Refresher: Easy Hard vs. Hard Hard

If you’re new here, or just need a reminder, the Easy Hard vs. Hard Hard theory is all about the kinds of work we choose. Easy Hard tasks are the ones that seem painless up front, may give the appearance of being busy, but do not align to the values and goals we wish to achieve. Easy Hard work is often most done for the approval of others rather than the approval of ourselves and can lead to changing the way we think and perceive the world to be accepted by a group. This work may seem like it is helping you succeed now but create harder consequences down the road.

Hard Hard is different. It’s the stuff that feels challenging or even uncomfortable at first, honest conversations, taking care of your health, learning something new, but pays off with real growth, meaning, and freedom. This work is aligned with what you want to be doing and requires you to give yourself permission to think and act with autonomy and avoiding groupthink. Hard Hard work gives you the freedom to grow and develop yourself and not get caught up in dogma or perceptions that limit your advancement.

Where Perspective Comes In

Here’s the twist: whether something is “Easy Hard” or “Hard Hard” is often shaped by our perspective.

My Own Dogma: Missing the Ally in My Corner

Let me get personal for a minute. For a long time, I was stubbornly dogmatic about my approach to self-care. Whenever my wife would suggest ways for me to take better care of myself, maybe it was to take a break, try meditation, or simply talk things out I’d reflexively dismiss her ideas. I’d tell myself, “She just doesn’t get what I’m going through.” I was convinced that my struggles were unique and that she couldn’t possibly relate.

Looking back, I realize that I let my pain create a wall between us. I was so wrapped up in my own perspective, my own dogma, that I ignored the reality right in front of me: my wife wasn’t trying to criticize or “fix” me; she was being my ally, genuinely wanting the best for me.

The more I pushed her away and clung to my one-track view, the more isolated and frustrated I felt. Instead of letting her in and considering her perspective, I doubled down on what felt safe (even if it wasn’t helping). This way of thinking only made things harder for both of us.

It took me a long time to finally see that shifting my perspective by opening up, listening, and accepting help, was the Hard Hard work I’d been avoiding. Once I did, everything started to change. My self-care improved, our relationship deepened, and I learned that sometimes the best help comes from those closest to us, if we’re willing to see it.

A Story: Dogma at Work

This isn’t just a self-care thing, it can show up anywhere. A friend of mine spent years convinced that “good managers never show vulnerability.” That was his leadership dogma. When his team started burning out and communication fell apart, he doubled down: more stoicism, more “power through.” It felt safe and familiar and the right move to make. That was, until his team started missing deadlines, became frustrated with the work they were doing and ultimately leaving the project and company he manages.

Eventually, his mentor challenged him to try something different and change the way he perceived his interactions with others. At first, he resisted as that new approach felt too vulnerable, too risky. But when he finally opened up to his team about his own challenges, and began listening and understanding their perspective, something shifted. Trust began to increase, morale improved, and the team started collaborating more effectively. Hard Hard work, for sure, but the payoff was huge.

Flipping the Script

When we let go of dogma and open our thinking to different perspectives, we can better identify the Hard Hard work that actually matters and begin to remove ourselves from the Easy Hard mindset we may be carrying. We’re no longer stuck in the Easy Hard comfort zone, and we start to see challenges as opportunities and not threats.

Three Ways to Reframe Your Perspective

1. Notice your knee-jerk reactions. If you instantly dismiss an idea or feedback, pause. What belief is driving that reaction?

2. Ask: “What if I’m wrong?” Not as a criticism, but as a curiosity check. Is there another angle you haven’t considered?

3. Seek out diverse viewpoints. Surround yourself with people who think differently and listen to what they say and why they think like they do.

The reward? More growth, better relationships, and the deep satisfaction that comes from tackling the real, meaningful (Hard Hard) work.

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P.S. If you enjoyed this perspective shift, check out The Easy Hard vs. Hard Hard podcast for more real-talk and fresh takes on living a meaningful life: - Apple Podcasts - Spotify - Amazon Music