Want vs. Should:

How to Replace Thinking About Doing What You “Should” Do and Start Focusing on What You Want to Do

This week, I have been reading the book 10x is Easier Than 2X, by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy and a discussion in this book is something I think it critical in helping us find our Hard Hard work and avoiding the Easy Hard work. The topic of changing your thinking from what you (or others) think you should be doing to what you want to be doing is presented as a tool in which we can begin to make changes in our lives to tap into to maximize our success and happiness.

According to Sullivan and Hardy, most of us are conditioned to think in 2x terms, thinking that If I work twice as hard, I’ll get twice the results. If I optimize, hustle, and sacrifice enough, maybe I can scale and obtain what I am chasing.

But 10x thinking doesn’t come from working harder, it comes from thinking differently. From letting go of 80% of what you’re doing now and going all in on the 20% that lights you up, aligns with your deepest capabilities, and points toward you overall vision and goal.

And here’s the twist: that 20% is often the part you already want to do, but dismiss as “too fun,” “not serious enough,” or “not what people expect from me.”

For a long time, I thought wanting something made it less respectable. Less serious. Less “real.” Real work was supposed to be hard. Gritty. Earned through discipline and sacrifice. Work that caused me hardship or suffering.

That belief ran deep in me. I’d built an identity around doing the hard thing because they were difficult or uncomfortable. Grinding through tasks, sticking with roles or projects that didn’t quite fit but looked good on paper, chasing goals that sounded impressive, even if they caused me stress or didn’t help me develop as a person.

This thinking changed for me when I decided to stop chasing what others wanted and centered my action on what I wanted. A quote from the book that mirrors this revelation in my life is, “Want is the key. Want creates energy. Want creates innovation. You can’t 10x from a place of ‘should.’”

I’d been mistrusting my “wants” and followed my “shoulds” which became distractions and obstacles to the work I wanted. Giving myself permission to want and pursue what I wanted marked a turning point in my life. It was the difference between pushing a boulder uphill (what I now call “Easy Hard”) and building momentum downhill with joy and focus (“Hard Hard”).

A Gentle Challenge

What would shift if you trusted your wants more?

What might be possible if you gave more attention to your Hard Hard work and abandoned the prison of your Easy Hard work?

Let go of what no longer fits. Want what you want. It might just be the most strategic move you can make.

Thank you for reading. Please let me know if you have any thoughts or questions about this.

Bobby

If this resonated with you please listen to the Easy Hard vs. Hard Hard podcast where I discuss finding the work that matters to you. You can listen on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music.

References:

Sullivan, D., & Hardy, B. (2023). 10x is easier than 2x: How world-class entrepreneurs achieve more by doing less. Hay House Business.